Contrast in Queue Behavior: Part 2

As I mentioned in part one, I'm interested in the ways in which people behave while waiting in line. That first post was about a negative situation I encountered recently at my local bricks and mortar Apple Store. Today, we will balance things out with a super positive experience I had a couple of weeks ago, at the Starbucks downstairs from my loft. My apologies for taking so long to post this. My original intent was to write this the following day. Obviously, that didn't happen. Onward.

It was 7:33 AM, mid-week, and I was rollin' like I always do, half asleep, seeking caffein to drive away the effects of too little sleep. As I strode quickly to the entrance of my convenient coffee house, I noticed a casually dressed man who looked to be in a good mood coming from the other direction. As tired as I was, I was in a good mood too. I smiled as we reached the door at the same moment. We both motioned and offered to let the other enter first. I paused for a moment, just long enough for awkwardness to set in a little, then took the man's offer. Once inside, I waited, motioning for him to get in line ahead of me. He wouldn't. He insisted that I go first. I reluctantly did so.

We engaged in polite conversation with each other and the staff, about the weather and our hopes for the day ahead. I introduced myself. My new friend gave his name, too. He then politely requested my leave to ask a personal question. I agreed, assuming there would actually be more than one, and that they would be about my blindness. Such was the case. His questions were pretty standard, the ones to which I've been responding in one form or another since I learned to talk. I was struck by how deliberate the guy was with his phrasing, choosing his words carefully, so as not to offend. Not that I'm offended easily. I did nevertheless appreciate the consideration.

When the barista queried, I ordered my usual Venti Americano with three raw sugars and two inches of steamed whole milk (no froth). I then indicated that I would also buy my new friend's drink. He'd made my good morning even better, and so it seemed like the natural thing to do. His cheerful demeanor and friendly conversation inspired my good mood to become even better. He protested, not wanting to accept the gifted beverage. The staff was on my side, however. They made his drink, but wouldn't accept his payment. My friend and I, along with the staff members preparing our drinks, continued to chat good-naturedly until our drinks were ready. It was time to segue into the next part of our day. We exchanged smiles and brief farewells, wishing everyone around us a good day.

In some ways, it was a small exchange

I put on Macbreak Weekly as I smiled to myself, walking purposefully toward the train station.

Contrast in Queue Behavior: Part 1

I'm fascinated by the way people behave while they're waiting in line, or "in the queue", as our friends across the pond say. I'm fascinated because I'm frequently surprised. Consider the following experience I had today.

This morning, I decided to visit my local mall, in the hope of procuring an iPad 2. Fat chance. The line was pretty long, and they were expecting a small shipment. I had my Starbucks in hand, and I love a good "Apple line", so I decided to hang for 30, and see what popped. I settled for some line analysis.

The line was comprised of what has come to be recognized as the typical mix. There were a number of hipsters, and several stylish retirees. There was an industrious-looking teacher. New to the crowd were the miscellaneous Wall-mart types. Call me a snob, but do these people really need to own Apple gear? Can't they go back to buying Acer and Dell, and stop creating an underlying vibe of inexpert un-coolness in my community. I suppose it had to happen, now that Steve basically gives the equipment away.

One of these mouth-breathing dull normals soon piqued my attention, in a bad way. He walked up behind me, as I took my place in line. After taking a picture of the line with his current generation iPhone, he remarked to me that he didn't expect this long of a line. I agreed, noting that his shirt was quite wrinkled, and his breath smelled like stale wine. I would later note that his hair was uncombed, and his shoes were filthy. Awesome. Way to go out in public looking like you could care less about yourself.

I resolved not to talk to this guy. I was soon forced to do so, however, when he started telling the young mother and older gentleman in front of us about how easy it is to jailbreak your iPhone, and get "free apps from BitTorrent". Irresponsible. I refuted his claims, assuring these poor folks that while jailbreaking your phone may seem easy, you assume some risk by doing so. You have to take care not to run updates from Apple prior to a new jailbreak becoming available for the update. You have to defend against the security vulnerabilities that jailbreaking creates. The list goes on. The point is that this dork was making it sound like there's no downside to hacking these devices, even when Apple has stated repeatedly that they will void the warrantee if they suspect you've hacked the system in this way.

As the mouth-breather spewed his misinformation, he inched forward, along the side of the line. I moved up to, drawing closer to the person in front of me, in an effort to unobtrusively preserve my place in line. When he was roughly even with me, maybe a half step ahead, but clearly out of line, I asked if he got out of line because he decided not to make a purchase today. He promptly claimed that I pushed him out of line. I responded that I hadn't, and suggested that if he maintained his proper place in line, he'd have nothing to worry about. Everyone around us gave us amused looks, as he tried to act like he didn't know he was trying to cut.

We had another funny exchange, when I straight-up told him he as misinformed on the subject of brute force password attacks. When he asked me what business I was in, and I told him I'm in information security, a few of the people around us laughed. He shut up for good, then. I was tempted to taunt him by asking if he had any more nuggets of wisdom for me to debunk. In the end, I resolved to blog about it instead.

I'll post part two tomorrow. It's was a much more positive experience, one that inspires me when I think of it.

Five Shots

I never used to give much thought to my morning routine. As a student, I slept in until the last possible moment every day, leaving myself just enough time to shower and dress, before I had to leave for school. If anything went wrong, be it a few drops of tea spilled on my heavy metal t-shirt, or a last-minute search for a textbook I misplaced, I would have to scramble in order to avoid being late. It was often stressful.

During my junior year of college, I met Neil, a reentry student, fulfilling his life-long dream of attending college, after working for many years, doing every kind of dirty job you can imagine, and some you can't. We were both English majors, who were new to university. I admired Neil for his dedication to our chosen discipline. I appreciated his no-nonsense approach to school and life, as well as his sarcastic yet dorky sense of humor. We became friends instantly. Coincidentally, we both lived about an hour's drive from the university campus, in the same small town. When my transportation situation became untenable, Neil offered to let me ride with him to and from school. It was a pivotal moment in my life. Neil drove us to school every day for the next three-and-a-half years (bachelor's and master's). Neither of us were ever sick. We never missed a day.

Neil became familiar with my morning routine (or lack thereof) early on in our acquaintanceship. I was never late, but I was sometimes a little frazzled when he picked me up. We talked about it. He suggested I modify my routine to be more like his. He got up hours before he needed to leave the house. He was never in a rush. He was always calm and collected. He had everything he needed for school. I don't believe he ever forgot a book or assignment. I saw his wisdom, and I followed his advice.

These days, I wake up two hours before I have to leave for work. I never hit the snooze bar. I don't lie in bed for a few extra moments. When the alarm goes off, I get up. I couldn't sleep in anyway. There are two hungry cats waiting for me to wake up. They're quiet, as long as I get at the appointed hour. If not, desperate crying ensues. After feeding the cats, I take a long shower and eat my standard breakfast of plain yogurt with honey, a granola bar, a cup of tea, and a humongous glass of iced water.

As I lock the door to my loft, I begin to mentally prepare myself for the day's work. Before I head for the train station, I stop at my second living room, or as some people refer to it, Starbucks. The staff knows me. I come every day. They prepare my drink, wisely accounting for the likely possibility that I will answer the daily trivia question correctly. I'm relaxed. My mind is at ease. I feel no stress. Today I do indeed answer the question correctly. Sylvester Graham was the inventor of the iconic wafer that was originally thought to convey health benefits. I am rewarded with an extra shot or espresso in my drink, bringing the total to five.

Thank you for bringing calm to my mornings, Neil. I owe you, among other things, a few hundred shots of espresso. I would never be able to think clearly about those trivia questions if I were as stressed out as I used to be, much less get out the door without forgetting to take my brain with me.

Some About Text

I decided to start writing here because I discovered quite by accident how much I enjoy having a personal blog. I started one on another site, where the main focus isn't blogging, although it's arguably that site's best feature. It made sense to come here, where blogging is king.

The woman of my dreams also has a blog here. We met on the site mentioned above. You know how you always hear about people "just knowing" when they meet THE ONE? I assumed that was nonsense (crap). I imagined it to be like winning the lottery, something that happened to a few lucky people, but not to me. Well, I was wrong. After the first phone conversation, I dared hope. After a week of long talks, I knew I wanted to meet her in-person more than I've ever wanted a date with a woman in my life. I had a late flight home from that first visit. The next day, I told her I would come back soon if she would want me to. Her response? "You'd better!" I did, and count myself the luckiest guy in the known universe for having found her.

I'm grinning from ear to ear writing this. Okay, I'm probably the only IT security guy who is such a hopeless romantic.

Last time I boarded the plane for departure, the flight attendant asked if I was going to see my girl. That's how we roll.